Unemployment and Soap Operas

Showbiz seems to be giving promises of wealth, fame and adulation that can entice any dreamer to pursue his or her place in lala land. No wonder why TV contests and auditions are trooped by the thousands. I have long resigned to the idea that I will never make it as an artista in this country. I laud those who are determined, though,  because they still have it in them. I have come to face some realities in life that tell me that any pursuit of fame through showbiz is simply going to be an effort in futility.

In my many years as a spectator in the Philippine show business, I have come to draw some painful facts why you’ll never see me on Party Pilipinas or ASAP. Those who still think that they can make it may try answering these questions.

1)      1) Are you mestizo or mestiza?
      If your answer is no, it cuts your chances by 50%. Marian Rivera, Jake Cuenca, Piolo Pascual, Sam (Milby and Pinto), Jillian Ward, and the list goes on….Don’t fret, there are still ways.

2)      2) Related to 1 is this question: Where you born or raised abroad? Not knowing how to speak Filipino is not necessarily a qualification.  

3)      3) If you don’t have foreign blood in you, do you have someone famous as your parent?

4     4)  Do you have something big that you’re willing to show off? By big I mean, big voice, big boobs, big dick.

5)      5) Are you drop dead gorgeous?

6)      6) Are you willing to share a bed with a movie producer or executive?

7)      7) Do you have videos uploaded on YouTube?

8)      8) Have you gone to every audition there is?

9)      9) Are you really talented?

10   10) Are you rich enough to buy yourself text votes in reality TV shows?

If you answer a yes to at least one of the questions, you probably stand a chance. I couldn’t say yes to any. Hence, I am a proud member of the audience.  

In this time when I patiently await for my job in the government, I have made the television my companion. My cable-less TV offers the best local soap operas and game shows.  I sometimes take pity on myself for being content on watching the shows although I am not surprised that I start to become an avid viewer.  TV show producers and writers have perfected luring jobless people like me into making fans out of us. Then again,  I take relief in the fact that I am starting my new work in few days’ time.  When that happens, I’ll just ask my likewise jobless brother to tell me if Amaya has finally killed Datu Mangubat. 

Air-conditioned jeepney. Sucat-Lawton Route