Busy unemployment

I did not watch TV the entire time during my three-month unpaid vacation, although time spent on TV was more than usual, I have to admit. I did a few other things as well. I attempted to finish a short story,  and this I was able to do. I take pride in being able to do this. For as long as I could remember, I have not completed a story. I was ambitious with this creation of mine; I couldn’t contain my excitement and felt I penned a masterpiece. I thought that I could get this published. Without anyone editing my work, I clicked ‘send’ to a magazine and prayed for the best. I viewed the  magazine’s previously published stories after that; the more I read the stories, I more stupid I felt. I told myself, “What made me think that I’d make it on print?” My work was undoubtedly amateurish and lacked in substance.  I am not being hard on myself --- I am being truthful. Seven years I taught literature, discussing the world’s finest literary works, and I should know what literary is or is not. 

Sometimes I don’t know what I’m getting myself into; sometimes I become too passionate about something, but most of the time, I am optimistic about everything.

On Monday, July 11, I am starting my day one with the Department of Foreign Affairs! I am to be an Officer. During my oath-taking days ago, I was called ‘sir’ by some of the personnel of the department. I don’t think I’ve earned that yet. All I did was pass a test.  Up to this day, I do not know what else I am to expect; I ask myself, “What am I going to do here?!” I have been dreaming of this job for years that I wouldn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize my chances in serving the department.  Other than TV watching and short story writing, I was also reading books. With whatever little extra money I had, I bought useful books at Booksale. Again, the more I read, the more I realized I had a lot to learn. My training has been on language teaching and not on diplomacy. I panicked a bit, but this worry was quickly erased by optimism. It is what kept me going on despite the diminishing resources, the difficulties and other challenges. Now, do I let a bit of insecurity triumph over my future? 

I wouldn’t worry over my rejected story; instead, I shall write some more until I have proven myself that a competent foreign service officer can write too.  ( I need this pat. Hehe)

"Coastal" commuters