Adulthood

Man waiting along Makati Avenue

How I relished the moment when I was mistaken for a student and was given a student discount not so many months ago in a jeep, but the truth still remains that I am getting old. Each waking day is a day closer to old age. Morbid it may sound, but it’s definitely true. An existentialist once  said that we start to age the moment we are born. No one can defy the course of nature. Knowing this fact, I have learned to embrace this reality and the responsibilities that go with it since there's nothing much I can do about it. The number I write for age seems to be proportionate with the responsibilities I carry. But like I said, I embrace it, or I think I do.

The moment I started receiving my cellphone bill, at 21,  was when I felt I was becoming an adult. Growing up, I saw my parents pay the countless bills we got. Hence, I have always associated bills payment with the maturity and responsibility of an adult individual. I did not enroll in those automatic debit facilities that some banks offer because I enjoyed going to SM to personally pay my bills. At first, it was a joy lining up, with the bill and cash on my hand; however, years after that cellphone bill, I saw myself paying for more bills which I started to detest doing: there's the Meralco, Maynilad, Citibank, Pag-Ibig that came. They seem to be calling for my attention every pay day! When  that happens, and it happens all the time, I regret growing old. At this point, I just really want to on my parents' nest again, carefree and debt-free! But my parents opted to give me their wings which I accepted wholeheartedly. I am flying alone, and it feels lonely sometimes. I thought that the power of adulthood is endless, but the things I do as grown-up seem to be pulling me down. My wings are clipped by the bills that make it under my door.

In times like these, I rely not on my wings as SM Bills Payment beckons; I take the jeep. I go there everytime with a clearer plan for much more important kind of maturity. I will be free from all these obligations very soon, I tell myself. I can't wait when that happens. But for now, I shall endure,  I shall learn. I guess it's part of growing up, or, perhaps, I have not grown up yet.